Interviewwith the Monkey Mummy

Most of us grew up with our country's 1st Super idol. Not that Toufu guy or Mr Horse teeth, but Ah Meng the Orangutan.

Ah Meng was one hell of a guy beast... it was not only a local household name but also an international super star!

Ah Meng had shake it's hand, bear it's tits and even do breakfast naked with thousands of overseas celebrities/big shots. It was the pride of spore's zoological environment!

Years ago, this Grandma of the Zoo went into "semi retirement" while it's son, Satria, took over it's breakfast party to entertain guest.

Emiryo had the horror honor of interviewing her royal highness not too long ago... nobody saw him ever since... but they did recover a footage of it from him video camera...

Emiryo: Could you come down from that tree for a minute? I would like to ask you some question

Ah Meng: I ain't coming down anywhere near lowly scumbag like you if not of the TV crew's doing advertisements for me...
Ok, feel free to ask me anything you like, infact I would like you to throw me hard questions... you know, as hard as this coconut which I might accidentally drop on your head...

Emiryo: Errr ok.... First, I heard that your son still suck on your tits at this age?

Ah Meng: Nonsense! Do you really think that I still have milk? Btw, my son is capable of ruling this zoo all on his own!

Emiryo: Then why don't you step down?

Ah Meng: Coz i ate more banana than anyone else, the zoo can't do without me...

Emiryo: So you're saying that you can't step down coz YOUR SON NEEDS YOU while HE DON'T NEED YOU?? Was it you or I'm confused?

Ah Meng: Ok, let's get this straight... I will never ever step down coz my son needs me and I need the free peanuts this zoo's providing.

Emiryo: But you and your family already have more peanuts than anybody else in the zoo!

Ah Meng: Duh! How do you think we owns so many peanuts in the first place? There's never enough!!! I want more! MORE!!!

Emiryo: If you're so fucking greedy, than no matter how much i pay you is useless!

Ah Meng: You do know this coconut would really crack your skull easily?

Emiryo: Are you threatening me? No wonder ppl always tell me that they vote you out of fear...

Ah Meng: Fear? People? Why?... btw who are these people? How many of them? GIVE ME THEIR NAME, NRIC NO. HOME ADDRESS!!!

Emiryo: No frigging way! You stupid or what? They fear you coz they're worried that you'll go after them... and why are you avoiding tmy question all the time?

Ah Meng: Fuck you ok! If you can't name a single person to proof it, then you're lieing!
I'm gonna spank your ass like my grandson for listening to hearsay, rock’n'roll and smelling fingers after digging his ass! He should suck it!

Emiryo: Why i'm not your ...

Ah Meng: Yup! That's why I'm going to inflict even more pain on you... How dare you question the World No.1 orangutan, who get paid the whole No.1 peanuts while ruling the world No.1 Zoo?! You third class S.O.B!

Emiryo: Oh, so I see that anyone who ain't a Orangutan is a lowly S.O.B! That's how you look at singaporean... No wonder you can't tolerate any opposition!

Ah Meng: O'coz! I'm always right! Any low graded seeds of opposition must be weed out...

Emiryo: But how you know it's weeds? It might grew to be a Bodhi tree!

Ah Meng: All the more I'll've to stamp it out! And trust me! I'll do it now! Be afraid! Very Afraid!

Emiryo: I've pledged to give up my life for this nation, to build a democratic society based on justice and equality! What made you think that I'm afraid of a monke...

The last thing on this footage was a big coconut coming at 200km/hr...